FOMO when switching to a dumb phone

[oliver]

Hey guys!

I'm a European high school student and I really like the idea of switching to a dumb phone. I'm practically addicted to my iPhone at this point and sometimes my screen time is more than 6 hours which is very obviously unhealthy, so I could really benefit from a stimulus-free phone.

The problem is that I use Instagram to communicate with my friends, I also use public transport apps on my phone for my daily commute, I take lots of pictures of things I come across daily and I use contactless Apple Pay a lot for its convenience. If I were to switch to a dumb phone all my connections would practically be cut off with my friends, I wouldn't be informed of recent news and my daily routine would be much more difficult as well.

Also, if I were to switch to a dumb phone I would just use my computer to view short-form content and my screen time would increase there instead, so I would just be addicted to a different device.

If I really think about it, my smartphone isn't the problem, social media is. But I can't delete it because of my friends. I'd get left out of everything.

Are there any alternatives to dumb phones I could try? Anyone have any tips?

[2muchcode4me]

I'm also a European struggling with the idea of switching to a dumb phone. The main obstacle for me is WhatsApp, as everyone I know uses it. I do chat with people on Instagram as well, but I can easily do that on my computer.

One piece of advice I can give is to use your bank card for transactions and enable Assistive Access on your iPhone. Keep in mind that you'll need to enable several settings, such as volume buttons, Mute switch, battery %, apps, etc. You'll also need to set a password to exit the mode. I recommend playing around with the settings first, and then ask a friend or family member to set the code for you, so you can't easily exit Assistive Access mode.

https://support.apple.com/guide/assisti ... 0/ios/18.0

[2muchcode4me]

Another option is to use Instagram in Safari. You can bookmark the "instagram.com/direct/inbox" URL for quick access to your messages.

There's also an app called Beeper that consolidates all your chats from different apps into one feed. I have some privacy concerns about it, so I stopped using it, but I've used Beeper to access my WhatsApp chats on an iPad and also had Instagram linked, and it worked back then.

Hope this helps!

[Thoughtless]

So what do you wish to give up?

Social Media = the problem.
Social Media = the connection to your friends.

There are plenty of options but they all require effort.
1. Delete social media and ask your friends to reach you on a specific messenger.
>May miss out on things that they do not know to include you in.
>Will not spend time looking for those nuggets of things you do not wish to miss out on.
>Most do not wish to switch to a specific messengers to humor 1/handful of individual(s). Momentum in this area requires a critical mass.

2. Turn off notifications from social media and live the pull life-style. (can turn off notification on an app by app basis)
>May miss out on things while they are relevant.
>There may be anxiety of missing out on something during eventful periods.

3. Set a quiet time. (with something like nextdns.io)
-Dedicate a time when you cannot access certain apps.
-or inversely dedicate a recreation time for when you can access certain apps.
>May miss out on events during times you set aside for obligations.
>Can set aside a messenger that is out of band for important messages.
>Great for enforcing a schedule. (ie. sleep, work, study)

These methods do not affect your Apple pay or your commuting apps. A change will be difficult for your daily routine regardless. Humans, like water, seek the past of least resistance. Following the crowd is easier then cutting your way through.

Another thing is to grayscale your screen/apps/etc. Apps are colourful because it helps entice the mind and draws the eye.

What are you willing to give up. What are you willing to do.

Bonus : You can set up NextDNS.io on your computer too.
Bonus + : You can use it to block (ads, malicious sites, sites you just don't want your devices to touch)

[drmollytov]

I didn't switch to a dumb phone, but I did make some changes that have really helped my relationship with my phone. I still use it about 90 minutes a day, but most of that is spent reading, listening to music, or doing useful tasks like banking or navigation. None of it is spent doomscrolling anymore.

What helped:

First: I got rid of infinite feeds. If it scrolls forever, I do not open it on my phone. Full stop. (These days, the only infinite scroll things I use are the occasional shopping site, which I do on my laptop.)

I use an RSS reader to keep up with blogs, news sites, etc. I still want to read. (You can even use RSS for Reddit! Not sure about Instagram though.)

I turned off all my notifications except text messages and phone calls/voicemails. I'm still in one private friend group on Discord; if I want to know what's happening, I have to open Discord. Same with my email apps. (In practice, I open them about once a day.)

I only have one game on my phone at a time. I allow myself as many e-books and music files as I can fit on the phone, though.

I use NewPipe, a YouTube frontend that has no tailored recommendations or auto-play feature. Now I use YouTube a lot less, because I have to go look up what I want to watch and when it ends, it's done. (I also don't know if Instagram frontends exist but I wholeheartedly recommend one if they do.)

Occasionally I'll catch myself opening my phone, staring at it, and realizing it has no new things to show me. Then I put it down and go do something else. It's very liberating.

[makemper]

I guess a gradually approach is the best way. Change to a minimalist UI, deleting all apps that aren't used, no notifications... small steps. Put the phone out of reach before going to bed. Something like that. You don't have to dump your Smartphone completely. Store it in your backpack when moving outside, not easily accessible. Use a second SIM for the dumbphone and give this number only to your closest friends, so that you know that if this phone rings it is important. Someday you could buy a camera for taking photos. Hope that makes sense.

[rejectconvenience]

I agree with the small steps method. I mean I had deleted Facebook, but then had Instagram for a year or two after that. Then I deleted Instagram, and then I still used Snapchat for a while. Then I switched to a dumb phone. That all took place over the course of like 3-4 years. Small steps add up over time. Being aware of your usage is a fantastic first step, even if it doesn't feel like it. You're on the right track, just do what feels right to you there's no one way to handle any of this.

[CitricScion]

One tip I can give for staying in touch with people is to consider what other apps they are likely to be using. For my threat model, I am ok with using WhatsApp because it's end-to-end encrypted and just a messenger with some light social features. Much better than the infinite scrolling, social media machines of Facebook and Instagram. While most of my friends do use IG, I knew they were also likely to have WhatsApp installed, so I started messaging them through there. Lo and behold they responded! Now almost all of my communication is happening through WhatsApp, a messenger that works much better for me (and for them, they just don't realize it yet, lol).

Maybe there is a platform or messenger that you can switch to for staying in touch that your friends are already using. That way you can at least put distance between you and the algorithm.

[bubbafinches]

This is a really relatable problem, you are not alone!!

The transition to a dumb phone has bettered my life, but it didn't happen all at once. Despite some sacrifices, I would totally still recommend it. What's great about all this is it's about what works for *you*, and what changes you want to make for your life that work!

I started with a dumb phone (Nokia 2660 flip), but regularly would still carry my old iphone with me places if i thought that id need modern apps. The iphone had no cell service, so no data plans. I relied on random/public internet connections. this wasnt too bad, because i live in a metro area. it was a nice challenge though to try and rely on the iphone less, while still having it around and feeling that sort of 'security blanket' of those apps if it was needed. Usually some random business somewhere has public wifi. if not, it became easier to just shrug and say "whatevs, ill figure it out without it".

eventually after feeling well detached from the iphone, i got a 'dumbphone' that can still handle modern apps (Cat S22). using stuff like instagram is such a pain in the ass that ill do it if i have to, but it's not worth the Scroll. It's still really just a phone that does calls and texts, but I can still get into my banking app in a pinch, or it can run Google Maps.

In the end, I found that my true friends followed me off of social media, in the sense that they met me half-way and texted me or called me personally. Everyone else... well... I learned that we weren't as close as I thought we were, and that's okay. The social transition aspect of this was honestly really hard. However, those mild connections loosening up made room for deeper connections. the FOMO was there for awhile, but once i started really living *my* life, and not one based around social media, it seemed to matter a lot less. I still feel left out sometimes, but then I remember how much richer my life is. To me it sorta feels like the FOMO around your drinking buddies going out if you're sober. You gotta decide where the line is for yourself and decide what's best for you! And then you live it! Best of luck to you!

[Linkard]

Jumping in because I realized the method I personally use hasn't been exactly cited.

First, I want to make it clear that this isn't a method to instantly quit your phone, but a very long term method to reduce mindless screen time.

I'm a euroid as well, and going with a dumb phone isn't really an option right now. I rely on too many apps. Hell, I have an app I need for work on my phone. I often need apps like Google Maps, and even apps like Uber or Bolt, and when I need them, I really need them.

However, I was really annoyed by how much time I spent watching short-form videos (Youtube Shorts, Instagram Reels). I wanted to quit watching instagram reels; I could always watch them on Youtube in compilations or something.

Now I basically watch 0 hours of instagram reels or youtube shorts a week.

So here's certain principles I go by that helped me reduce my unwanted screentime. Hope that helps.

1: Be honest with your vice.
Mine is Youtube. I watch and listen to a ton of Youtube. I think for me, the goal is to be mindful about it. So, no matter what, I know that "stop watching Youtube" is a stupid goal for me. I don't want to do that, and there are a lot of things I love about people making videos for that platform. So I make other goals, like making sure I don't just put videos on to "fill the void" for example. I try to stop myself when I do that. I also, over time, made sure to do activities, like playing video games, without having Youtube in the background.

Additionally, I also wanted to never watch shorts. I don't like shorts. At all. Which leads me to my next point.

2: Have systemic solutions for systemic problems
This is where I get into the more practical solutions. I wanted to straight up stop scrolling instragram. I also wanted to stop watching reels. This is for me specifically, I know this would be a little too much for some people. I also can't really post stories, because instagram intentionally limits posting stories on the web browser version (yeah, Meta sucks). However, the thing that was not negociable for me is is I would need to be able to access messages. So, I downloaded an app that basically poisons your instagram app and makes it so that you can't access reels or your feed. But, you can still read messages. I can also see reels that friends send me. It's awesome, I basically have a limited curated reels system, just for me.

I won't link the app here, because I can't speak on how safe it is. But it's a more systemic way to approach the problem than "just uninstall" or "delete your account". If I uninstall instagram, I'll just install it again. And I don't want to delete my account. This is the perfect solution for me.

Back to Youtube. To stop watching shorts, I had to take a systemic approach, meaning I had to make it so that I couldn't even see shorts on the app to begin with. This is where I'm only going to say that, as far as I know, the Youtube app doesn't let you turn off shorts, but other unofficial Youtube apps -that I don't recommend you download and will not name- do let you do that. Thankfully, I now don't watch any Youtube shorts.

3: The one page principle
I saw this in a Youtube video ages ago, maybe even a decade ago. Can't find it anymore. The idea is to keep your apps screen to 1. Basically, you only have 1 screen with apps. You unlock your phone, and only have you necessary apps in one screen. You can find ways to include more apps like with folders, but you can't extend to a second page. I've been doing this for soooooo long and I love it. Some launchers on android make it easier to implement, like Smart Launcher 6, which is the one I use. One thing you need to also do to make this viable is to turn off automatic app shortcut creation when you download an app. Also, I think this is doable on Iphone now, but not sure.

I have to stop there because this is the end of my lunch break, but don't hesitate if you have any questions ! That about covers my mentality and how I engage limiting my phone time. I'd say that it's taken about 6 months to really feel the effects on my psyche. Hope this wasn't all too confusing.

OH, also, I didn't mention TikTok because I hate it. For this to work, you need to know yourself and be honest with your priorities. I'm fine with not having TikTok on my phone because it makes me anxious. I don't have a specific fix for limiting TikTok use, other than trying to force yourself to watch less short form videos that are fed to you and seek out longer videos.